what would happen if...
Romeo,
I've wanted to tell you this for a long time. It may be considered inappropriate, but I feel the need to be honest with you. I really like you. I think you're sweet and smart and sometimes funny. I think you're such a dork it's cute. I don't want to marry you, or have your children; I just wanna get some coffee and hang out sometime. Is that possible?
There have been many times where I've wondered if you might possibly feel the same way about me; glances from across the room and awkward conversations. Is there opportunity here? If I misread, if I misinterpreted your friendship for advances, I am deeply sorry.
It's very unlike me to make any type of first move, but what if you're one of those guys who will never approach a girl? I don't know if I can just not know if something could have been...
I will assume you don't share the sentiment and/or don't care for coffee if you don't respond.
posted by nydiathegreat at 12:02 AM
5 Comments:
I'm sayin' though!
That's hillarious!
Juliet,
Coffee is great in theory, yet, you know we can’t really do coffee in public because our parents might try to kill either us or each other. I think maybe we should just get together in your bedroom tomorrow around, say… 3:00 AM. Let’s just keep this on the dl. In fact, because of the awkward Capulet-Montague situation I won’t even come in through your front door. Just hang your hair over your bedroom balcony rail and I’ll use it to climb up. That reminds me, I have a date tonight with that chick that left her shoe at your party. Aw, Juliet, you should’ve seen me, I was so slick… her shoe fell off while she was waltzing and I grabbed it and gave it to my homeboy Mercutio and told him to scram. That’s right, tonight’s my lucky night- she gets her shoe and I get to score! You’re cool with that, right Julie baby? I mean, since we’re really just trying to form a “friendship” here (not that that precludes the exchange or enjoyment of any benefits… you know what I mean Jules?)
Anyway, I’ll meet you at your place at 3 tomorrow. Don’t worry about what to wear, we’re homies now… you don’t have to wear anything.
Catch you later.
Romeo
Romeo and Juliet is probably the most boring, most unoriginal, most overrated pile of lithical and literary crap I have ever read.
That being said, I think Juliet probably wants to finish her bachelors first, and is likely already cheating on some dude in school anyways. Plus she's already humped a few professors in order to et the grades, because her night life is simply killing her study time. Thus leading to conclude that you know, she is unsure of the poor Romeo and his mediocre looking car, and dire financial status...simply because of his mediocre looking car and his dire financial situation.
what a hoe!
Yeah, I'm really not a huge fan of Romeo and Juliet either, though I do like some of Shakespeare’s work. The reality is, this little love note is actually not from Juliet to Romeo, in fact, it has nothing to do with them at all. You see, I'M Juliet, and Romeo is just a stand-in name for my version of Mr. wonderful. As I was going to post, it occurs to me that I don't want to use his real name, so I need stand in names, right? I briefly considered Sunny and Cher, but let’s face it folks… they broke up. So I chose a classic...
My vast audience however, was not aware of this, and so they commented accordingly. This is therefore, my clarification.
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